I'm an alien

And I tell myself to keep holding on.

10:40 AM TERLARUT AKU DALAM KESENDIRIAN
SAAT AKU MENYADARI TIADA LAGI
DIRIMU KINI

Sampai kapankah aku mampu bertahan
Tetapi aku jalani semua kisah hidupku ini
Tak akan terganti setiap kenangan yang telah terukir
Namun terendap indah dan melekat di hati
Akankah berakhir semua rasa yang telah tercipta
Di dalam benakku dan di dalam asaku


(I strongly advise people NOT to read the below)
Sweetheart,why did you have to do it?
Why did you?
I broke down in tears when I knew about it.
Not like it matters, but,
Nevermind, you won't even care if I tell you this.
So let be it.
I'm always, and forever the victim here aren't I?
But because I love you,
I would never bear to do those things towards you
Because I loved you too much to let you go.
And I'm afraid, afraid to admit, you're no longer mine.
I'm feeling so insecure, that I am even afraid to come up and talk to other people
Fearing that the same old thing might happen again.
I don't know if you're reading this, but I just need someone to talk to.
Just as I really need you right here by me now,
It turned to be a nightmare for me.
A HORROR
I guess you'll never be the same, ever again.
I dislike changes, but I as a human, I have to live with it.
And, it's hard to adapt, not especialy when you told me that
STRAIGHT IN MY FACE
Not exactly directly,
And I know you didn't mean it
IT'S JUST YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH
But, it hurt me
You just had to,
Though I did everything I could, but theyr'e all so insignificant
Lust blinded you. Open your heart, and think again
Look at all the sacrifices I made
All the effort I put in
And reflect what you did to me.
And look, if you were me, would you love to receive the same treatment?
WOULD YOU?
It's been really long since I last told you this:
I love you too much to forget everything and let you go.

Fadhillah, I need to talk to you now.PLEASE?

[edit/]
Fadhillah, thanks a lot for giving me a 49:05 min call!
At least, I could rant it all out,
I cried especially when you asked if I was ok,
Yeah, I could iron out all the creases
Though you might not really be the ideal person who could read me inside out;
Or the person who can really console
BUT KNOWING YOU CARE IS GREAT!
And I cried mor-er when I tried solving the bloody coordinate geometry homeworks
fuck ah,i think i'm gonna flunk MYE's Math, because i dont understand an inch of these shitass stuff. I listened, I tried, but I couldn't. I'm helpless, ain't I?
Thanks ah dear for that SWEEEEEET things you told me to cheer me up
I FELT MUCH BETTER AFTER I TALKED EVERYTHING OUT.
Yes, everything that could possibly be the cause of me being "depressed".
And amazingly, how much you could read me liek a ZOMG novel,
Where you can't really understand, but sees even deeper within the pages in the book
Yeah, I'm not a philosophical person
Neither am I an analytical one
So my great words,aren't eally great after all

And my hand is painful!

Besides, I've already decided what subject combinations to take next year
And which path I will choose after O Levels
I LIKE IT THAT WAy,ALL PLANNED OUT
So, ultimately, I have to just follow the route :D

I NEED A HUGGGGGGGG!